This is me in my up-coming film "Creature from the Blue Lagoon" Why does a round pizza come in a square box? . . .

This is one of me and Barry somewhere, probably Iceland. Brrrrr!!! Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? . . . .

let's get physical, physical.   I wanna get physical, lets get into physical.  let me hear you body talk, your body talk . . . Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? . . Where's that extra penny going to? . . . .

Aaaah Tibet . . . . . . . . my home away from home!      How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? . . .

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? . . . . . . . . . .    Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? . . . . . .   "Tofu Abstract #1" - Artist unknown     What disease did cured ham actually have? . . . .

"Between me and myself . . .   there's a whole lot of love" - Tofu     How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? . . . . .

Ode to a sea creature by Tofu Oh sea creature . . . .   Lovely sea creature,  How I want to eat you, How I want to wrap you in a blanket And call you my child, my baby! Slurp, slurp, slurp! Swallow, fuck, fart! Oh sea creature . . . .   Swim away to another place, To another day!        Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? . . . .

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? . . . .

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. . . .   Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? . . . .

"Tofu Pop Art #1" - Artist unknown     Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? . . . . * NEW *   Play FIND THE REAL TOFU EGG puzzle CLICK HERE